Icons Icons to be used for Apiary Magazine's website. Arrows Created for Apiary Magazine's website. confetti Created with Sketch.
  • Search Philadelphia Literature
  • Apiary in Print
    • Apiary 1
    • Apiary 2
    • Apiary 3
    • Apiary 4
    • Apiary 5
    • Apiary 6
    • The Power Issue
    • APIARY 8 Soft Targets
    • APIARY 9: Sanctuary
    • Our Tenth Issue
    • APIARY 12: The Genre Jawn
  • Apiary on the Web
    • APIARY Online Winter 2013
    • Apiary Online Summer 2013
    • Special: Apiary Valentine's Day 2012
    • Apiary Online Winter 2012
    • Apiary Online Summer 2011
    • APIARY 11: The Essential Issue


by Chantelle Bateman

sadness is the color of my eyes, my heart,

the same shade as distance

and some kind of Miles Davis on repeat.

it's the sound I don't want anyone to hear

creeping out of my pillows in the morning

before the coffee and cigarettes begin-

an avatar, when I'd rather just be myself.


my anxiety smells like whatever it is

that makes mean dogs bare their teeth.

it sound like trees falling, like doors slamming,

like a pin drop,

and sometimes, like my mother checking on me again.

it feels like nothing.


anger is the color I paint the town with —

blood shot, and sparkling with tiny salt crystals

louder than the sirens they play when I hit the deck,

bitter sweet and never offered cookies.

I'm just a pile of tears needing

to punch you.

Read all work by Chantelle Bateman


More Info